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Friday, August 5, 2011

Friday Flash Focus - Stressed-Out Santa, by Mark Hudson

Welcome to Friday Flash Focus, our new Friday series on ShopNotes. Here is your chance to contribute stories, either fictional or non-fictional, and even poetry, to the ShopNotes Blog. Submission of anything up to 1,500 words are welcome; if you have longer pieces, please discuss it with us and we may serialize them over time.

I'd also like to introduce our new Friday Flash Focus Editor, Supie Dunbar. Supie is a long-time member of Evanston Writers Workshop and a major contributor to the Critique Group. We are pleased to welcome Supie into the ranks of EWW and hope that you will give her lots of fodder for posting!

To submit, please email to: ShopNotes .

Our first feature is an entry by long-time Prompt Group member, Mark Hudson. Mark is a poet, author, and artist in the Chicago area.  This was in response to one of the prompts in our group, which was to write a letter or story from the point of view of one of Santa's Reindeer or with Santa as the villain.

Stressed-Out Santa

by Mark Hudson

Well, this is Santa reporting from the North Pole. Looks like we won't have Christmas this year. Not only are the elves on strike, but the reindeer as well. They are demanding more pay. The elves are claiming I hired them cheaply because they are immigrants, from the elven land of Vellenhizen. And the reindeers want royalties on their jingles. Rudolph wants a memoir, and his own line of clothing. Rudolph has hired a ghost writer reindeer to write his memoir, named Gustav Robertson reindeer. His line of clothing will include mittens for hooves, llama wool hats, thick scarves, and lumberjack boots. Prancer wanted to do a hip-hop demo, he is feeling oppressed being an animal so he's got some issues to rap about. His no. 1 hit is "Don't lock me in a zoo," and his second greatest hit is "Santa drives his sleigh drunk".

I feel like they're ganging up on me,and Vixen has been having delusions that the air force is after him. Plus the reindeers have complained of nausea and fear of flying, but the children must get their gifts. I'd say my company has been running professionally since the 1600's. I have lived that long because I'm really a vampire! After all, how do you think I could stay alive for hundreds of years? It's not from doing martial arts, would you say? And it's not from avoiding the sauce, either. It's from the blood of reindeers who don't want to act right. If they get out of line, I have a Bloody Mary, and a reindeer feast.

Now you know why i'm so heavy-set.

So if everybody's sick of Santa, too bad, you group of whiners! I say I'm here to stay. And the reindeers better get some gratitude, you disposable lot!


SFlanigan said...

Nice, Mark. I enjoyed reading this.

SFlanigan said...

I wan to see this hip hop demo, I think I can find him a promoter.